Friday, July 1, 2011

Hair We Go Again


I had a mullet once.

I don't share that information
with just anyone, you know.
Makes me look like
a moronic hillbilly.

But it wasn't a matter of
bad taste or following a trend.
It was solely the fault
of a bad hairdresser.

I'm here to tell you today
that just because they have
a certificate or diploma
hanging above their shampoo bowl-
doesn't mean they are qualified
to brandish a pair of scissors!

Sometimes it's just a gut feeling
that can save you from the
chopping block, so to speak.

Any beautician with blue hair,
tons of pomade,
or, in fact, a mullet-
simply cannot be trusted.

It seems to me there are a lot
of newly graduated students
who think they are creating
trends in bouffant history-
but, the bottom line is-
they are just screwing around
with sharp tools.

I had a girl cut my hair once
that had her little pinkie nail pierced.

She brandished this tiny chain
with a star hanging from it
that was linked through her fingernail.

Every time she ran her fingers
through my hair,
I cringed.
And when I got home later,
I kept waiting for that little star
to fall out of my head.

And, let's get real folks-
any hair dresser that approaches you
wearing stilettos and a mini skirt
doesn't really care
what your stupid hair looks like anyway.

The problem with giving
your beautician a picture of
what you want-
is that they all seem to have
vision problems.
It never ends up looking
like the photo.

I went in to the beauty shop one day
with a picture of Jennifer Aniston-
and came out looking like
Billy Ray Cyrus.

It took two years
and 730 paper sacks
before it was ever right again.

(Originally posted July 10, 2009)

3 comments:

  1. We should all just shave our heads...no worries.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post!Oh you poor thing I feel your pain! I had the same thing happen to me!Check out post--->

    http://10minutes2breathe.blogspot.com/2011/04/v-is-for-voila.html

    I write about my own mullet experience there!
    Blessings, Joanne

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been considering getting feathers put in my hair. I'll definitely avoid hairdressers with stilletos and nail piercings! :)

    ReplyDelete

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