Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Up, Up, and Away!

(Originally posted June 11, 2009)
Today is the official start of
Superman Week.

I have yet to figure out why they
insist on calling it a week
when it only lasts till Sunday.

But, hey- I'm not going to
question Superman.
He's entitled, you know.
He's saved mankind countless times.

The whole super hero thing
got me to wondering what it
would be like to be
married to Superman.

(Daydream video starts now....)

It's evening. At home. I'm sorting laundry.

"For heaven's sake, Clark- if you outgrow another suit, I'm going to have to put you on a diet! Those things aren't cheap, you know!"

He pouts in his chair,
watching the competition on TV-
Batman and Spiderman.

"I sure wish we could afford some of those cool gadgets", he says,
feeling sorry for himself.
"These guys have webs and wings and neat cars. All I have is that freakin' phone booth!"

"Oh, Honey-don't be silly- you have X-ray vision, excellent hearing, and those red boots are kinda sexy!" I say to him.

He smiles across the room at me.

"New underwear?" he asks, suddenly staring.

"Quit it, you Silly! That X-ray vision is to be used only for save-the-world purposes!"
I slap him with a dirty cape. "If you've not got anything better to do, tune those ears into the neighbors next door and see what gossip you can come up with!"

"Maybe we ought to go to the store instead", he says,
changing the subject, "I'm out of hair oil and I need a pair of new tights. I got those caught on a skyscraper last week and they've got runs all over them."

We drive- not fly to the nearest store.
Mr. I've-Got-A-Big-S-On-My-Shirt
is too tired to fly. (What a big baby- if his
friends only knew...)

Inside the store we fill our cart
with all sorts of energy food
and he X-rays the apples for any
hidden worms.
Then we pass a beautiful girl-
(You know the kind-
all boobs and blondness).

Of course, he has to stick his
bullet proof chest out and start
a conversation with her.

I watch for awhile, but I'm used to it by now.
I keep a little kryptonite in my purse-
for occasions such as this.
He'll be a blubbering shrinky-dink
in a minute or two.

Yeah- it's not that great being married
to Superman.

I mean. even in bed
he's faster than a speeding bullet.

Enough said.


  1. Sometimes speed is NOT a good thing.

  2. Well, lets see what are your choices

    Spiderman?...naw he's too young

    Batman?....naaa he hangs out too much with Robin (I've always had my suspicions about those two)

    Hulk?...anger issues

    Wolfman?...not housetrained

    I'd keep Superman at least he can turn back time!
    Blessings, Joanne


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