Friday, July 1, 2011

Hair We Go Again

I had a mullet once.

I don't share that information
with just anyone, you know.
Makes me look like
a moronic hillbilly.

But it wasn't a matter of
bad taste or following a trend.
It was solely the fault
of a bad hairdresser.

I'm here to tell you today
that just because they have
a certificate or diploma
hanging above their shampoo bowl-
doesn't mean they are qualified
to brandish a pair of scissors!

Sometimes it's just a gut feeling
that can save you from the
chopping block, so to speak.

Any beautician with blue hair,
tons of pomade,
or, in fact, a mullet-
simply cannot be trusted.

It seems to me there are a lot
of newly graduated students
who think they are creating
trends in bouffant history-
but, the bottom line is-
they are just screwing around
with sharp tools.

I had a girl cut my hair once
that had her little pinkie nail pierced.

She brandished this tiny chain
with a star hanging from it
that was linked through her fingernail.

Every time she ran her fingers
through my hair,
I cringed.
And when I got home later,
I kept waiting for that little star
to fall out of my head.

And, let's get real folks-
any hair dresser that approaches you
wearing stilettos and a mini skirt
doesn't really care
what your stupid hair looks like anyway.

The problem with giving
your beautician a picture of
what you want-
is that they all seem to have
vision problems.
It never ends up looking
like the photo.

I went in to the beauty shop one day
with a picture of Jennifer Aniston-
and came out looking like
Billy Ray Cyrus.

It took two years
and 730 paper sacks
before it was ever right again.

(Originally posted July 10, 2009)


  1. We should all just shave our worries.

  2. Great post!Oh you poor thing I feel your pain! I had the same thing happen to me!Check out post--->

    I write about my own mullet experience there!
    Blessings, Joanne

  3. I've been considering getting feathers put in my hair. I'll definitely avoid hairdressers with stilletos and nail piercings! :)


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